Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Kryptonite

Igneous Dereliction: I have to ask. You’ve sort of made the assumption that your cancer is a result of exposure to sunlight, but I wonder if you have considered something: what if it’s been caused by kryptonite radiation?

Superman: The thought’s crossed my mind. Especially because Lex- well, he was riddled with cancer, and certainly would have died if he hadn’t transferred his body into his own clone- so there’s certainly a precedent.

ID: But

S: But I tend to reject that- I try to reject it. Because it’s a painful thing to admit if it’s true. On the one hand you have the fact that while I narrowly avoided the destruction of Krypton, it’s violent end seems to have managed to finish me anyway- almost painfully poetic. On the other, and, really, more terrible side, you have the fact that, if it’s even remotely true, Lex Luthor managed to play a role, however small it may have been, in my death. And I don’t like that idea. Even if kryptonite had the carcinogenic effects of a packet of Sweet’n Low- him taking any credit for my death is too much. In actual medical fact, it’s likely a combination of the two, added to all of the other various radiations and rays and, God, I’ve been exposed to all manner of things over the years. I suppose I should be grateful I haven’t been sprouting any extra eyes, through the years, or been rendered impotent.

ID: Uh

S: That is not an invitation to probe that subject deeper.

ID: Okay, but I'd like to probe your relationship with Lex Luthor, if we could. The two of you have known each other a long time- LuthorCorp's regional headquarters is in the same county where you grew up. If you can believe the WB show, you were actually friendly growing up.

S: The show's a bit more Dawson's Creek than my adolescence was, but yes, Lex and I knew each other, once upon a time.

ID: I wish he was in the room, because I'd love to ask him what you were like as a teenager, too, but what was he like?

S: Lex was Lex. A lot of his insecurities and frustrations were still only boiling at that point- rather than boiling over- but he was still brilliant- still self-absorbed, still ambitious and perhaps a little unbalanced. But he was nicer, then. He cared about people; I think, probably somewhere, deep down, he still does, but on his agenda anymore they rank so low as to be considered just pieces in a chess game, worth his consideration only so long as they retain some value to him.

ID: You have a grudging respect and disappointment for Lex, and some editorialists, perhaps sponsored by Luthor, have theorized that it's out of intimidation for Lex's mind. But I've also heard, mostly in gossip, but still, I've heard it often enough and from enough sources to know that you dabble in science, and not just human sciences, but with some of the Martian and Kryptonian tech you have access to. These same rumors say that you're brilliant in your own right, without ever going so far as to quantify. So just how smart are you?

S: Seriously? I've never taken an IQ test, or anything similar, but I've tried my hand at some quantum physics, but frankly my schedule rarely stays clear long enough for me to delve too deeply into intellectual pursuits.

ID: Okay, what about sudden world harmony. Maybe John Henry Irons figures out how to replicate Green Lantern technology across the world, eliminating all resource-related problems; virtually all globaly conflict dies, as no nation is capable of eliminating any other (or any of its own minorities). Basically, you and every other superhuman gets to retire. Do you see yourself retiring to your Fortress of Solitude to finish important scientific things?

S: I don't know. I think, because I didn't find out about my heritage until I was older, that I didn't get into science in the same way as I might have. And by then, I'd really gotten obsessed with watching humanity, and watching over them.

I guess I'm enough of my father's son that I've always wanted to try. I really was blessed with my Kryptonian father's mind, at least in general, and I think I have an innate analytical skill that I certainly never honed.

But it's always been an itch, like a person who picks up a guitar and finds out they have a talent for it, but never learns to play. It was sort of what I assumed I'd get up to in my twilight years, when my hair started to gray in a distinguished fashion at my temples.

ID: But now that doesn't seem like an option anymore.

S: No, it doesn't. But I have trouble giving up hope- even if it's fool's hope. I can't help, even when we talk about my death, even when I wake up aching, that in a year's time I'll be reading this interview with a smile on my face at how naïve and premature our predictions of doom had been. And I think, given time, science or whatever would catch up to me, and the chances of my dying would decrease substantially- but of course, time is the one thing I may not have. And maybe that's it- maybe time is my kryptonite, now.

We’ll be trying to bring you a new section of the interview every Monday. Some of the questions have already been prepared by the interviewer, but to ask Superman a question, leave a comment or send an email to DeathofSuperman@gmail.com.