ID: Okay, Halloween is a big time for people in costume, so what were you up to this year?
S: Lois actually had a Batwoman costume custom-made this year.
ID: Batwoman? Now that is kinky.
S: I don’t follow.
ID: Well, on the one hand, the current Batwoman is, I believe, a lesbian, so it plays into that straight man with a curvy woman fantasy, and it also means next time you see Bruce you’ll have a weird imprint of disrobing the feminine version of his namesake in your brain. Man, a Superman/Batwoman sextape would sell like hot hot hot cakes. If you want, I could produce- I mean, I’m no Sleez but I do happen to know my way around an HD camera.
S: You think I wore my own costume for Halloween?
ID: You didn’t?
S: Nope. I went as Deadman. I figured, since you can see my ribs poking out, and my skins taken on this pale hue- I figured I could pull it off. Plus there’s the whole macabre joke about me being a dead man.
ID: That is dark. Did Lois laugh?
S: Not at first. But I kept doing my Boston Brand imitation all night long, and frankly, it sounds a bit like Warwick Davis from the Leprechaun movies, and by the end of the night I’d just started rolling with that and introducing myself by saying, “I’m the Leprechaun.”
ID: That’s, um, that’s actually not much like Warwick Davis at all. That’s a bad Mike Myers impression doing a bad Warwick Davis impression in Wayne’s World. And I’m actually not entirely sure what to think about the fact that you A) have seen that movie, and B) apparently quote it when drinking.
S: Hey, I was still moderately young and hip in the early nineties… or maybe Jimmy made me watch it- I don’t really know.
But I wanted to comment upon a phenomenon. I think it was last year that Plastic Man said to me that you could tell how highly regarded (or at least reviled) you were by the amount of people dressed as you at Halloween. Last year, Bruce “accidentally” forwarded a sales report on licensed costumes, detailing that Batman had outsold Superman costumes nearly 2 to 1. Granted, my survey this year isn't scientific, but judging from the sample that came to my door, it seemed I'd overtaken him by a slim margin- and that's despite not having a follow up movie last year (like he did). So yeah... I'm a little happy.
Granted, neither one of us were anywhere near the Harry Potter numbers- and I'm also a bit weirded out by the number of Harry Potter women in drag, with too-short skirts and shirts and expressions that were less-than-wholesome.
Oh, but that made me remember something I forgot last week, and you know I’ve been forgetting things more, but I remembered part of why I wanted to talk about Harry Potter. You know, I wrote a book, once. And I don’t mean Under A Yellow Sun- that barely qualifies as a novella (or literature, for that matter). I remember thinking greedily at the time that that was it, my big break, my chance to escape my own mediocrity- as Clark Kent, anyway. I mean, in the other personae, wearing the costume and being that other person who is smarter and more confident and just better than me in every way, I could do all kinds of things. But as Clark Kent, there were, and sometimes still are, days when I really did feel like the dumb, naïve hick son of a farmer out of Kansas.
ID: You’ve won a Pulitzer.
S: I know, but that doesn’t mean I felt I deserved it, or that even if I sometimes do that I don’t have moments of insecurity. But we’re not talking about that, or at least I wasn’t meaning to, my point, and you know how hard it’s getting for me to focus, is that I wrote something fictional. Maybe even literary. I’d written a novel about a teenager who one day finds out he has abilities, and then joins up with superheroes. It was very much a Harry Potter for the tights set- in fact, there’s a pretty good chance I was writing it around the same time as Rowling was writing her first Potter. But then Ja- one of the Robins passed away. And at that point I couldn’t stomach the idea of encouraging children to think about what we did in a positive light. I mean, if even one kid had got themselves hurt… I haven’t even thought about publishing it, honestly, until just now. I put it out of my mind, because the alternative, it’s too much to even think about.
I mean, I fail, regularly. There’s people I should be nicer to, some I can’t save, even problems I can’t tackle, like Perry smoking cigars, but I recognized that I would be creating failure. That it was an inevitability that children would read that book and think, “Hey, heroes are real, I should do this-” it was only a question of when something would go wrong and not if.
ID: I’m not sure what to say to any of that.
S: You don’t have to. I’m not changing my mind about the book- I’m not saying it should be published posthumously. If anything I’m saying it shouldn’t. But a small part of me just wanted it out there in the world, that the book exists. I think there’s a small part of writing that’s about being heard- not even heard clearly or understood, those are separate from it- I just wanted its existence, and maybe by extension mine, to be known. It seems stupid to say it out loud. But a story about an awkward kid with glasses, and competence no one knows about- that idea hits pretty close to home with me. I guess putting it away all this time, without acknowledging it, it was kind of like trapping that person in his awkward stage, shuttered away and unable to grow into the impressive person he was supposed to emerge as by story’s end. I guess, in a way, that’s what Halloween’s about: we all want to be something, something funnier or scarier or more heroic or even sexier, but we all want to be someone better.
We’ll be trying to bring you a new section of the interview every Tuesday. Some of the questions have already been prepared by the interviewer, but to ask Superman a question, leave a comment or send an email to DeathofSuperman@gmail.com.
Showing posts with label Lois. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lois. Show all posts
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
The C Word
Independent Domicile: I want to say, before we begin, because this interview's only being recorded and transcribed- that is to say there's no audio- and I know you've been staying away from the public eye as much as you can, but since we started the interview you've lost forty pounds. Your skin is pale, clothes fit loosely.
Superman: Well, for the sake of parity, I want to state you look like crap, too.
(laughs, breaks into a fit of coughing)
ID: How are you doing, really?
S: The days are harder. And I think it's all really sunk in. I've been living with the reality of my own mortality for a while now, but it's really starting to feel real now. I guess, I guess I got cocky. You know, I've been in so many strange places, been confronted with so many weird threats, there was a part of me that believed that God, the universe, whatever, had some kind of plan for me, that I was invulnerable until I'd done that one great thing that I'd been shot across space in a rocket to do. And I don't think I've done it yet; there's no sense of closure to my life, no finality to it yet.
You know, fighting Doomsday, there was something epic about that. It had grandeur, and spectacle; I could see paintings of that immortalized in the Smithsonian and the Louvre, and while the idea makes me blush a little, stopping him, stopping murder incarnate, that felt like something purposeful. When Lois held me in her arms, and I wasn't even aware enough or strong enough anymore to see, but I knew she was holding me in her arms, and I felt that maybe that was that, that I'd fulfilled my purpose, that what I'd accomplished was something really good and truly great, and that I could pass on from that point and be peaceful. And nothing since has had that kind of closure for me.
ID: So do you think there's something to that? I mean, and I don't know where I read it, so maybe it's just a gossip-column thing, but your father had a heart attack around that time, and went and found you in some kind of an afterlife and convinced you to come back. Do you think that, maybe, that was a mistake, that you were supposed to stay dead after that?
S: It's a thought, isn't it? But honestly, no. I don't think that's true because I was supposed to marry Lois. As sure as I know anything, I know that, and to do that, I had to come back after Doomsday.
ID: So what about that, then, marrying Lois? Isn't that closure enough for you?
S: I don't know. I remember the first time I found out my cells had stopped aging. It was at S.T.A.R. Labs, and they told me that, functionally, I hadn't aged for several years, and in fact it appeared like the aging process had partially reversed, so age-related damage that they had previously recorded had healed. And there was a kind of a quiet pause, before the head scientist, whose name escapes me at the moment, um, and I apologize for that, I'm sure it'll come to me, but I know it wasn't Emil Hamilton- he was on the team, but I remember he was preoccupied with Kara at the time- anyway, the lead scientist told me, “we don't know if you'll ever age another day again.”
And Lois actually got really upset; she turned to me, tears in her eyes already, and I excused us quickly before flying us out of the conference room. By the time we touched down in the arctic, she had regained her composure, but she explained, very carefully, why that upset her.
She said she'd always assumed I'd outlive her, that stress or cancer from her mother's side, or a building falling on her or even her own propensity for eating out of The Planet's vending machines would kill her, but the thought that she was just a blip on my radar, just the first ring on a tree that might never stop growing, that her part in my life was going to end up so trivial- it nearly broke her heart. And I told her the first thing that came to my mind, because even though I think faster than a computer she can always tell when I hesitate: that I couldn't imagine outliving her, because I was fairly certain that her dying would kill me. She hasn't had a problem with it since.
But I don't think the reverse is true; I don't think my death will kill her- and not simply because she's had to live through that once already, but because as much as I know she loves me, Lois doesn't need me the way I need her. She loves me, she cares for me and about me, and hard as it is to believe she genuinely likes having me around all the time- but she doesn't need me. There have been times when I've wondered if she wouldn't have been a better reporter, maybe a better person, if it weren't for me. And maybe that's one thing I wish I could hold on to see, the person my wife becomes without me.
ID: Okay. But closure. I know you'll never be happy with the thought of leaving Lois behind- that with her you'll always want one more day, but acknowledging your impending mortality, do you think it's even reasonable to seek closure at this point?
S: Hmm. I don't know. I just hate leaving business unfinished. Take the League- I think the League's in transition now. With all humility, I've been sort of a go-to for a lot of issues, and now that that resource is being taken away, there's been a bit of a scramble to figure out how things work when you can't just fling a Kryptonian at it.
ID: What about Kara?
S: Kara isn't me. There are a lot of things that, physically, she can handle, but there are a lot of other things, having to do with maturity, and experience, or even just rapport that I have, with a lot of world leaders, a lot of communities across the globe- I've been at this a fairly long time, and I've met a lot of people, made a lot of friends. That's something the League is learning to work around, now. And the same goes to an extent for physical threats. I mean, Kara can hold her own, but she hasn't been under a yellow sun for nearly the same amount of time as I have- there was more than one time where I was the weapon of first and last resort- because if I couldn't stop it there was no one else who could, and that's something the League is I think reeling from.
And I'm still healthy enough at the moment to contribute, so don't think I'm down or out. But I've been taking a backseat, trying to let others do things I might have done myself in the past. One person who's really stepped up of course has been Diana. Bruce and I have such conflicting styles of management, and such strong personalities, that people often saw us fight. It made people think we were in charge, that we were the ones running the League. But, and I think Bruce would agree with me, the League lives and dies on two people's shoulders- and that's Diana's and J'onn's. Diana has a quiet authority- like what Bruce always wants, but gets irritated about when you don't read his mind and do what he wants, so he goes with gruff schoolteacher. But Diana and J'onn are the people who soothe bruised egos, who make the calls afterward to make sure follow-up assistance is there if it's necessary, who make sure we haven't accidentally caused India to invade Pakistan, or make sure monitor duty's filled. But what I'm getting at is the League is maturing, I think, into a group that will function rather well in a world without me- and I'd like to live long enough to see that, too.
ID: So what it sounds like is you've made your peace with dying- you'd just like to stay after it happens.
S: Yeah, something like that. You think we could swing it?
We’ll be trying to bring you a new section of the interview every Monday. Some of the questions have already been prepared by the interviewer, but to ask Superman a question, leave a comment or send an email to DeathofSuperman@gmail.com.
Superman: Well, for the sake of parity, I want to state you look like crap, too.
(laughs, breaks into a fit of coughing)
ID: How are you doing, really?
S: The days are harder. And I think it's all really sunk in. I've been living with the reality of my own mortality for a while now, but it's really starting to feel real now. I guess, I guess I got cocky. You know, I've been in so many strange places, been confronted with so many weird threats, there was a part of me that believed that God, the universe, whatever, had some kind of plan for me, that I was invulnerable until I'd done that one great thing that I'd been shot across space in a rocket to do. And I don't think I've done it yet; there's no sense of closure to my life, no finality to it yet.
You know, fighting Doomsday, there was something epic about that. It had grandeur, and spectacle; I could see paintings of that immortalized in the Smithsonian and the Louvre, and while the idea makes me blush a little, stopping him, stopping murder incarnate, that felt like something purposeful. When Lois held me in her arms, and I wasn't even aware enough or strong enough anymore to see, but I knew she was holding me in her arms, and I felt that maybe that was that, that I'd fulfilled my purpose, that what I'd accomplished was something really good and truly great, and that I could pass on from that point and be peaceful. And nothing since has had that kind of closure for me.
ID: So do you think there's something to that? I mean, and I don't know where I read it, so maybe it's just a gossip-column thing, but your father had a heart attack around that time, and went and found you in some kind of an afterlife and convinced you to come back. Do you think that, maybe, that was a mistake, that you were supposed to stay dead after that?
S: It's a thought, isn't it? But honestly, no. I don't think that's true because I was supposed to marry Lois. As sure as I know anything, I know that, and to do that, I had to come back after Doomsday.
ID: So what about that, then, marrying Lois? Isn't that closure enough for you?
S: I don't know. I remember the first time I found out my cells had stopped aging. It was at S.T.A.R. Labs, and they told me that, functionally, I hadn't aged for several years, and in fact it appeared like the aging process had partially reversed, so age-related damage that they had previously recorded had healed. And there was a kind of a quiet pause, before the head scientist, whose name escapes me at the moment, um, and I apologize for that, I'm sure it'll come to me, but I know it wasn't Emil Hamilton- he was on the team, but I remember he was preoccupied with Kara at the time- anyway, the lead scientist told me, “we don't know if you'll ever age another day again.”
And Lois actually got really upset; she turned to me, tears in her eyes already, and I excused us quickly before flying us out of the conference room. By the time we touched down in the arctic, she had regained her composure, but she explained, very carefully, why that upset her.
She said she'd always assumed I'd outlive her, that stress or cancer from her mother's side, or a building falling on her or even her own propensity for eating out of The Planet's vending machines would kill her, but the thought that she was just a blip on my radar, just the first ring on a tree that might never stop growing, that her part in my life was going to end up so trivial- it nearly broke her heart. And I told her the first thing that came to my mind, because even though I think faster than a computer she can always tell when I hesitate: that I couldn't imagine outliving her, because I was fairly certain that her dying would kill me. She hasn't had a problem with it since.
But I don't think the reverse is true; I don't think my death will kill her- and not simply because she's had to live through that once already, but because as much as I know she loves me, Lois doesn't need me the way I need her. She loves me, she cares for me and about me, and hard as it is to believe she genuinely likes having me around all the time- but she doesn't need me. There have been times when I've wondered if she wouldn't have been a better reporter, maybe a better person, if it weren't for me. And maybe that's one thing I wish I could hold on to see, the person my wife becomes without me.
ID: Okay. But closure. I know you'll never be happy with the thought of leaving Lois behind- that with her you'll always want one more day, but acknowledging your impending mortality, do you think it's even reasonable to seek closure at this point?
S: Hmm. I don't know. I just hate leaving business unfinished. Take the League- I think the League's in transition now. With all humility, I've been sort of a go-to for a lot of issues, and now that that resource is being taken away, there's been a bit of a scramble to figure out how things work when you can't just fling a Kryptonian at it.
ID: What about Kara?
S: Kara isn't me. There are a lot of things that, physically, she can handle, but there are a lot of other things, having to do with maturity, and experience, or even just rapport that I have, with a lot of world leaders, a lot of communities across the globe- I've been at this a fairly long time, and I've met a lot of people, made a lot of friends. That's something the League is learning to work around, now. And the same goes to an extent for physical threats. I mean, Kara can hold her own, but she hasn't been under a yellow sun for nearly the same amount of time as I have- there was more than one time where I was the weapon of first and last resort- because if I couldn't stop it there was no one else who could, and that's something the League is I think reeling from.
And I'm still healthy enough at the moment to contribute, so don't think I'm down or out. But I've been taking a backseat, trying to let others do things I might have done myself in the past. One person who's really stepped up of course has been Diana. Bruce and I have such conflicting styles of management, and such strong personalities, that people often saw us fight. It made people think we were in charge, that we were the ones running the League. But, and I think Bruce would agree with me, the League lives and dies on two people's shoulders- and that's Diana's and J'onn's. Diana has a quiet authority- like what Bruce always wants, but gets irritated about when you don't read his mind and do what he wants, so he goes with gruff schoolteacher. But Diana and J'onn are the people who soothe bruised egos, who make the calls afterward to make sure follow-up assistance is there if it's necessary, who make sure we haven't accidentally caused India to invade Pakistan, or make sure monitor duty's filled. But what I'm getting at is the League is maturing, I think, into a group that will function rather well in a world without me- and I'd like to live long enough to see that, too.
ID: So what it sounds like is you've made your peace with dying- you'd just like to stay after it happens.
S: Yeah, something like that. You think we could swing it?
We’ll be trying to bring you a new section of the interview every Monday. Some of the questions have already been prepared by the interviewer, but to ask Superman a question, leave a comment or send an email to DeathofSuperman@gmail.com.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Valentine
Indecent Dichotomy: I want to say something: I had no idea that this weekend was Valentine's when I asked you about Diana last week.
Superman: I figured. You must not be married.
ID: No. Why?
S: Because no married man could get away with forgetting Valentine's.
ID: Ah. But I think you availed yourself well, all things considered- and really, I feel bad about the loaded question.
S: Well, I got lucky, actually.
ID:
S: Um, not what I meant.
ID: Yet you're not denying it. (pause) You know the whole glowing eyes thing isn't very nice.
S: No, I meant I was lucky, in that your question really hit something. Lois has- well, Lois is one of the most fascinating women in the world, but it can be hard for me to remember sometimes that for all of her strength, she's still a woman.
And she sees me spending time with really fairly attractive women in phenomenal shape because of what they do, um, oftentimes wearing, um, less than a professional woman otherwise might...
ID: It feels like we should have brought your lawyer- you seem to be choosing your words rather carefully.
S: As indeed I should. But head and shoulders above any of her colleagues, Diana is a, well, wonderful woman. And apparently Lois has always been, jealous isn't the right word, exactly, but
ID: I think we get the idea.
S: Well she isn't anymore. Officially. Apparently my answers last week helped sooth her savage beast, and,
ID: You got lucky. (laughter) You're almost the same shade of red as your cape. I'm counting that as a win.
S: Now you're just trying to get me in trouble.
ID: I'm trying to get you spanked- not quite the same thing.
S: It’s not really me you have to worry about; Lois often tells me, “I know people. They’d never even find the body.” Which is entirely possible. She’s done some reporting in very dangerous parts of the world- who knows what kinds of contacts she’s made.
ID: Something to keep in mind, but Valentine’s Day. What’d the two of you get up to?
S: I assume you mean in the light of day- I think Lois and I are pretty fortunate. We’ve been together for a while, now, and in that time we’ve had a lot of reasons to celebrate. My telling her the truth about who I am, our wedding,
ID: Your resurrection
S: (sigh) if you want to call it that. I think, doing what I do, I get a lot more highs and lows than most people, more tragedy and triumph. Lois and I get a lot of reasons to to be happy. And I don’t want to say that Valentine’s is less special because of that, but it can be hard to compare to
ID: One of you coming back to life after dying to save the other.
S: Really? You’re still stuck on that? Anyway, um, we flew to Hawaii, because Lois really likes this breed of flower they have, I forget the name, but it looks kind of like a horn, and the colors change from the rim, and there’s this long stamen- I think it’s a kind of hibiscus- but we flew there and took a walk along the edge of an active volcano, Kilauea, and then we picked flowers. And there’s this little French Bistro, in Paris, on the rue St. Louis-en-lle, where we had dinner. Then we retired to the Peruvian Fortress of Solitude for the evening.
ID: So all in all, it’s good to be Superman.
S: It is; though actually I hope it’s as good to be Superman’s wife.
ID: It sounds like it. I can’t imagine finding fault with that evening. Or is there something you’re glossing over?
S: Well... we were drinking wine, and watching Grey’s Anatomy on DVD- okay, I talked her into Grey’s Anatomy- she wanted to watch Desperate Housewives, and I heard about an emergency. I told Lois I had to go, and she flicked off the TV, and started walking towards the sleeping quarters, and said she’d get comfortable, and, uh then she looked over her shoulder and said, “Don’t make me wait too long, Smallville.” Of course, you have to imagine Lois saying it, because coming from me, well, it doesn’t have the right sound. I told her I didn’t really have to go. But she knows me too well, so even though I’ve finally gotten deadpan down, she saw right through me, laughed, and pointed at the door.
And the whole time I was flying, that stuck with me, “Don’t make me wait too long.” I didn’t. It might have been a record-breaking time for ending a hijacking- even for me. (pause) What?
ID: Sorry. Too often in our profession we get hung up on the disasters, and the tragedies- it’s so rare we get to bask in the simple adoration of a husband and wife.
S: Amen to that.
We’ll be trying to bring you a new section of the interview every Monday. Some of the questions have already been prepared by the interviewer, but to ask Superman a question, leave a comment or send an email to DeathofSuperman@gmail.com.
Superman: I figured. You must not be married.
ID: No. Why?
S: Because no married man could get away with forgetting Valentine's.
ID: Ah. But I think you availed yourself well, all things considered- and really, I feel bad about the loaded question.
S: Well, I got lucky, actually.
ID:
S: Um, not what I meant.
ID: Yet you're not denying it. (pause) You know the whole glowing eyes thing isn't very nice.
S: No, I meant I was lucky, in that your question really hit something. Lois has- well, Lois is one of the most fascinating women in the world, but it can be hard for me to remember sometimes that for all of her strength, she's still a woman.
And she sees me spending time with really fairly attractive women in phenomenal shape because of what they do, um, oftentimes wearing, um, less than a professional woman otherwise might...
ID: It feels like we should have brought your lawyer- you seem to be choosing your words rather carefully.
S: As indeed I should. But head and shoulders above any of her colleagues, Diana is a, well, wonderful woman. And apparently Lois has always been, jealous isn't the right word, exactly, but
ID: I think we get the idea.
S: Well she isn't anymore. Officially. Apparently my answers last week helped sooth her savage beast, and,
ID: You got lucky. (laughter) You're almost the same shade of red as your cape. I'm counting that as a win.
S: Now you're just trying to get me in trouble.
ID: I'm trying to get you spanked- not quite the same thing.
S: It’s not really me you have to worry about; Lois often tells me, “I know people. They’d never even find the body.” Which is entirely possible. She’s done some reporting in very dangerous parts of the world- who knows what kinds of contacts she’s made.
ID: Something to keep in mind, but Valentine’s Day. What’d the two of you get up to?
S: I assume you mean in the light of day- I think Lois and I are pretty fortunate. We’ve been together for a while, now, and in that time we’ve had a lot of reasons to celebrate. My telling her the truth about who I am, our wedding,
ID: Your resurrection
S: (sigh) if you want to call it that. I think, doing what I do, I get a lot more highs and lows than most people, more tragedy and triumph. Lois and I get a lot of reasons to to be happy. And I don’t want to say that Valentine’s is less special because of that, but it can be hard to compare to
ID: One of you coming back to life after dying to save the other.
S: Really? You’re still stuck on that? Anyway, um, we flew to Hawaii, because Lois really likes this breed of flower they have, I forget the name, but it looks kind of like a horn, and the colors change from the rim, and there’s this long stamen- I think it’s a kind of hibiscus- but we flew there and took a walk along the edge of an active volcano, Kilauea, and then we picked flowers. And there’s this little French Bistro, in Paris, on the rue St. Louis-en-lle, where we had dinner. Then we retired to the Peruvian Fortress of Solitude for the evening.
ID: So all in all, it’s good to be Superman.
S: It is; though actually I hope it’s as good to be Superman’s wife.
ID: It sounds like it. I can’t imagine finding fault with that evening. Or is there something you’re glossing over?
S: Well... we were drinking wine, and watching Grey’s Anatomy on DVD- okay, I talked her into Grey’s Anatomy- she wanted to watch Desperate Housewives, and I heard about an emergency. I told Lois I had to go, and she flicked off the TV, and started walking towards the sleeping quarters, and said she’d get comfortable, and, uh then she looked over her shoulder and said, “Don’t make me wait too long, Smallville.” Of course, you have to imagine Lois saying it, because coming from me, well, it doesn’t have the right sound. I told her I didn’t really have to go. But she knows me too well, so even though I’ve finally gotten deadpan down, she saw right through me, laughed, and pointed at the door.
And the whole time I was flying, that stuck with me, “Don’t make me wait too long.” I didn’t. It might have been a record-breaking time for ending a hijacking- even for me. (pause) What?
ID: Sorry. Too often in our profession we get hung up on the disasters, and the tragedies- it’s so rare we get to bask in the simple adoration of a husband and wife.
S: Amen to that.
We’ll be trying to bring you a new section of the interview every Monday. Some of the questions have already been prepared by the interviewer, but to ask Superman a question, leave a comment or send an email to DeathofSuperman@gmail.com.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Wonderful
ID: I want to talk to you about Wonder Woman. I know this is something the pair of you have been pretty vague about in the past, but Diana- did it ever happen?
Superman: I’ve always had a lot of respect for Diana. I don’t know if there’s anyone else, besides my parents, that I respect more. Actually, strike that. The first time I met Diana… respect came later. I mean, she was really, really gorgeous. So respect came after I’d got through ogling her- which, you know, when you’ve got supersenses can take a while, the moment she stopped talking to Batman and I started listening to her, yeah, immediate respect. But that first time I met her, there was a moment I thought we’d end up being together, you know, start out working together, then get close, and eventually that partnership turns into a really strong relationship. I mean, we even wore the same colors, for God’s sake, so either she was my biggest fan, or we both just clicked on a fundamental level.
I think when I heard her speak I stopped thinking that way; I mean, I considered my mom a pretty strong feminist, and very independent and intelligent, while still being sort of traditional, but Diana was independent in an entirely different class. I mean, I like my women to be strong-willed, but Diana was- well, it would have been like dating Bruce if Bruce looked really good in a- what would you call that outfit of hers? It’d probably count as a bathing suit if she was swimming in it, but I guess, a fighting suit? I don’t know. God, that must come off as sexist.
ID: I don’t think so. I think it’s just culture shock. You’ve said before you were raised in a very rural, traditional kind of home, with very traditional values and gender roles. By contrast, Wonder Woman comes from a society entirely devoid of a second gender, let alone gender roles.
S: Yeah. And at the time I thought she might be a lesbian- not that I really knew exactly what that might mean, or that I actually knew a few lesbians who were nothing like her. But it was a different time, then, and I was a much more naïve man.
But there’s a part of me that’s always felt bad for Diana. I think she really wants to find something in this world, and most of the time she’s ended up with just incredibly horrible men- I mean, men who wouldn’t be good enough for her even if she wasn’t Wonder Woman- so I don’t know. I mean, one of her most stable relationships was with Bruce. The problem with Bruce’s relationships is always the same- he really wants love, and affection, and to belong- but at the same time, he really won’t let himself have those things. It’s why so many of his relationships end up shallow, and meaningless. A lot of it is self-flagellation, for failing to save his parents, for failing to save a lot of other people’s parents. Bruce finds a way to blame himself for every single tragedy in the world; it makes him the best there is at what he does, but it’s also the loneliest way to live I could imagine. But Diana… Diana was different, because she forced him to be different. Most any woman he can trick, or bully, or ignore, into getting what he wants out of a relationship, but she had his number. There wasn’t ever a time when she couldn’t push him into a place where they could both enjoy one another. I think it just fell apart at some point, and they’re both private enough I don’t really know why. If I had to guess, she might have just gotten tired of pushing; it could be one of the cyclical tragedies that seem to always follow Bruce interrupted them. I don’t really know. Maybe they’ll get back together some day. I don’t know. But they’re still really excellent friends, and I guess that’s far more important.
ID: I’m still choking a bit on the part about you thinking Wonder Woman was a lesbian.
S: Well, lesbian wasn’t a word I heard until high school, and I didn’t really understand what it meant until years later. I’ve known some really great women who happened to be gay, some in spandex and some not. Growing up in a small town, I'm sure I knew some lesbians- but I never would have known it, because they had to keep it a secret. It was just a much different time than today.
ID: You've only sort of answered my question. How do you feel about Diana?
S: I’m sure you’re going to get me into trouble with Lois, but I love Diana. There’ve been a lot of times where I’ve sat at home, listening to the radio, or watching her on the television, wiped from a day of saving people and reporting, being a husband and being a man, and there’s Diana, and she’s been working just as hard for just as long as me, but she’s standing up and speaking- eloquently- about whatever it is that needs speaking up about. And she's probably got an evening at a fund raiser planned after the speech.
She’s constantly in the public eye, whether it’s working as an ambassador, her work with the United Nations or the literally hundreds of charities and foundations she’s helped, she’s always out there. And it isn’t because she likes the limelight, or the publicity or the scrutiny, because as someone who has known her personally for years now, I can say, that’s not Diana. She’s out there because it’s where she needs to be. To say that she’s a wonderful woman is an understatement.
ID: Okay, and this question is maybe a little handing a man in a hole a shovel, but after saying all that, why do you think you ended up with Lois and never pursued Diana?
S: Diana is wonderful- at a minimum. And Diana is wonderful at and in almost everything. But for me- she’s just no Lois Lane.
ID: That is either the portrait of a man still very deeply in love with his wife, or very staunchly covering his ass.
S: Can’t it be both? (laughter) But seriously… Lois is exactly who I need, who I’ve always wanted. I’m trying to put it into a combination of words that isn’t stolen from Jerry Maguire.
In my, we’ll call it a costumed persona, I wear my heart and my ideals on my sleeve, while pushing my frustrations, and my faults down and away. Lois does the opposite. She puts her scars and her issues at the surface; sometimes she’s hiding away her very tender heart, and sometimes she’s simply out there to say, “this is who I am; these are my holes, my imperfections, and my flaws. Treasure me if you can, I have no time for you if you can’t.” She can be raw, and abrasive, even mean, at times, but it’s never because she’s anything but the sweetest woman in the world underneath. And all of these things, it might sound like I’m trying to connect her and myself to the seedier side of humanity, and in a way I guess that’s what I’m saying
ID: (shoveling sounds)
S: yes, all while digging deeper, is that she’s my anchor. It’s so easy to get lost, in your own nonsense or the world’s, and she keeps me grounded, keeps me sane, keeps me loving, and caring, and wanting to be the man she thinks I am- which, as much as every kid and parent in America idolizes and idealizes me, Lois has me on another realm of pedestals. But she doesn’t fault me for not being that ideal, she loves me for being the best man I can.
As much as I respect Diana, and cherish her example, she could never be that person for me- and Lois is.
We’ll be trying to bring you a new section of the interview every Monday. Some of the questions have already been prepared by the interviewer, but to ask Superman a question, leave a comment or send an email to DeathofSuperman@gmail.com.
Superman: I’ve always had a lot of respect for Diana. I don’t know if there’s anyone else, besides my parents, that I respect more. Actually, strike that. The first time I met Diana… respect came later. I mean, she was really, really gorgeous. So respect came after I’d got through ogling her- which, you know, when you’ve got supersenses can take a while, the moment she stopped talking to Batman and I started listening to her, yeah, immediate respect. But that first time I met her, there was a moment I thought we’d end up being together, you know, start out working together, then get close, and eventually that partnership turns into a really strong relationship. I mean, we even wore the same colors, for God’s sake, so either she was my biggest fan, or we both just clicked on a fundamental level.
I think when I heard her speak I stopped thinking that way; I mean, I considered my mom a pretty strong feminist, and very independent and intelligent, while still being sort of traditional, but Diana was independent in an entirely different class. I mean, I like my women to be strong-willed, but Diana was- well, it would have been like dating Bruce if Bruce looked really good in a- what would you call that outfit of hers? It’d probably count as a bathing suit if she was swimming in it, but I guess, a fighting suit? I don’t know. God, that must come off as sexist.
ID: I don’t think so. I think it’s just culture shock. You’ve said before you were raised in a very rural, traditional kind of home, with very traditional values and gender roles. By contrast, Wonder Woman comes from a society entirely devoid of a second gender, let alone gender roles.
S: Yeah. And at the time I thought she might be a lesbian- not that I really knew exactly what that might mean, or that I actually knew a few lesbians who were nothing like her. But it was a different time, then, and I was a much more naïve man.
But there’s a part of me that’s always felt bad for Diana. I think she really wants to find something in this world, and most of the time she’s ended up with just incredibly horrible men- I mean, men who wouldn’t be good enough for her even if she wasn’t Wonder Woman- so I don’t know. I mean, one of her most stable relationships was with Bruce. The problem with Bruce’s relationships is always the same- he really wants love, and affection, and to belong- but at the same time, he really won’t let himself have those things. It’s why so many of his relationships end up shallow, and meaningless. A lot of it is self-flagellation, for failing to save his parents, for failing to save a lot of other people’s parents. Bruce finds a way to blame himself for every single tragedy in the world; it makes him the best there is at what he does, but it’s also the loneliest way to live I could imagine. But Diana… Diana was different, because she forced him to be different. Most any woman he can trick, or bully, or ignore, into getting what he wants out of a relationship, but she had his number. There wasn’t ever a time when she couldn’t push him into a place where they could both enjoy one another. I think it just fell apart at some point, and they’re both private enough I don’t really know why. If I had to guess, she might have just gotten tired of pushing; it could be one of the cyclical tragedies that seem to always follow Bruce interrupted them. I don’t really know. Maybe they’ll get back together some day. I don’t know. But they’re still really excellent friends, and I guess that’s far more important.
ID: I’m still choking a bit on the part about you thinking Wonder Woman was a lesbian.
S: Well, lesbian wasn’t a word I heard until high school, and I didn’t really understand what it meant until years later. I’ve known some really great women who happened to be gay, some in spandex and some not. Growing up in a small town, I'm sure I knew some lesbians- but I never would have known it, because they had to keep it a secret. It was just a much different time than today.
ID: You've only sort of answered my question. How do you feel about Diana?
S: I’m sure you’re going to get me into trouble with Lois, but I love Diana. There’ve been a lot of times where I’ve sat at home, listening to the radio, or watching her on the television, wiped from a day of saving people and reporting, being a husband and being a man, and there’s Diana, and she’s been working just as hard for just as long as me, but she’s standing up and speaking- eloquently- about whatever it is that needs speaking up about. And she's probably got an evening at a fund raiser planned after the speech.
She’s constantly in the public eye, whether it’s working as an ambassador, her work with the United Nations or the literally hundreds of charities and foundations she’s helped, she’s always out there. And it isn’t because she likes the limelight, or the publicity or the scrutiny, because as someone who has known her personally for years now, I can say, that’s not Diana. She’s out there because it’s where she needs to be. To say that she’s a wonderful woman is an understatement.
ID: Okay, and this question is maybe a little handing a man in a hole a shovel, but after saying all that, why do you think you ended up with Lois and never pursued Diana?
S: Diana is wonderful- at a minimum. And Diana is wonderful at and in almost everything. But for me- she’s just no Lois Lane.
ID: That is either the portrait of a man still very deeply in love with his wife, or very staunchly covering his ass.
S: Can’t it be both? (laughter) But seriously… Lois is exactly who I need, who I’ve always wanted. I’m trying to put it into a combination of words that isn’t stolen from Jerry Maguire.
In my, we’ll call it a costumed persona, I wear my heart and my ideals on my sleeve, while pushing my frustrations, and my faults down and away. Lois does the opposite. She puts her scars and her issues at the surface; sometimes she’s hiding away her very tender heart, and sometimes she’s simply out there to say, “this is who I am; these are my holes, my imperfections, and my flaws. Treasure me if you can, I have no time for you if you can’t.” She can be raw, and abrasive, even mean, at times, but it’s never because she’s anything but the sweetest woman in the world underneath. And all of these things, it might sound like I’m trying to connect her and myself to the seedier side of humanity, and in a way I guess that’s what I’m saying
ID: (shoveling sounds)
S: yes, all while digging deeper, is that she’s my anchor. It’s so easy to get lost, in your own nonsense or the world’s, and she keeps me grounded, keeps me sane, keeps me loving, and caring, and wanting to be the man she thinks I am- which, as much as every kid and parent in America idolizes and idealizes me, Lois has me on another realm of pedestals. But she doesn’t fault me for not being that ideal, she loves me for being the best man I can.
As much as I respect Diana, and cherish her example, she could never be that person for me- and Lois is.
We’ll be trying to bring you a new section of the interview every Monday. Some of the questions have already been prepared by the interviewer, but to ask Superman a question, leave a comment or send an email to DeathofSuperman@gmail.com.
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