Clark Kent and the Novelist’s Pen

ID NOTE: This update discusses quite a few storylines from current and ongoing movies and TV, including (but not necessarily limited to): Harry Potter, Madmen, Scrubs, House; this is the only spoiler warning you’re getting.

Inscrutable Diarist: Okay, so you left a message on my answering machine- something you wanted to talk about.

Superman: I realized something. Well wait- I’m getting ahead of myself. I finally went to see the new Harry Potter- I know, I’m stupidly late, but I’ve been busy. Anyway, it felt like a Halloweenish movie, with the witches and everything, and we finally had a moment to ourselves. And after the movie I asked Lois, who’s a huge fan of the books, about what comes next. Which of course opened a whole can of deaths and things that sound close to insanity when splashed out over the course of twenty seconds. And, intrigued, I asked how long until the last movie came out.

And that’s when Lois went white as a sheet. She managed to mumble that they’d split the last book into two movies, one in 2010 and the other in 2011. “Oh,” was all I could manage. See, I’d sort of forgotten myself; I’ve internalized my mortality enough that I thought I might be able to “wait” for a sequel next year- but at that moment I realized I couldn’t delude myself into believing that I’d see the end of the series.

Which is a roundabout way of saying I’ve finally started reading the books. Ollie and Lois have been on me about reading them since just after the first movie- but they both hated the films, and I liked them- and I wanted to continue liking them.

And I might not have come to it on my own, but I was talking to Ollie, because he’s been wanting to discuss Half-Blood Prince since he saw it at the midnight opening (really, I suppose he’d been waiting since he’d been at the midnight book opening). And it shouldn’t surprise me, because his exuberance has precedent, but he jumped on it, said, “If you want to know the ending now you’ll have to finally read the books.”

Of course, I could have always just read the Wikipedia synopsis, but I figured he was right. I thought since I can read pretty quick, and both he and Lois insisted that they’d cut out a lot from the movies, that I should start over from the beginning. And I’ve only just started, just a few pages into the first book, but so far I’m not blown away. I guess there’s just been so much hype, I mean, at least six years of it, now, that I think it would have taken something Shakespearean to really impress me like I’ve been told it would. And I’m not taking anything away from Rowling, not at all. I mean, Harry Potter, particularly that first book, from what I’ve heard, is meant as a children’s story, or at least something accessible to children. And there’s certainly something very British about the book, too, even more British even than the all-British/Irish/Scottish-cast movies.

Anyway, I’m tangentially off, um, what I was getting at is there’s all kinds of things I realized I’m going to miss out on. Lois and I have been addicted to Madmen- though admittedly for different reasons. I think she just likes staring at Jon Hamm.

ID: You know, there is more than a passing resemblance between the two of you- you know, before you lost all the weight.

S: Lost the weight? Clever. Anyway. I hate the show, and the fact that virtually all of the characters no the show are predatory and inhuman, and even at the best of times all of them are eagerly self-serving; it’s basically a misanthropic fairy tale, but there’s something about Don’s back story that, I guess because of its rural setting, it just hits close to home. I guess I can’t help but think that with a little less luck that could have been me, stuck in a home where I wasn’t wanted or even liked, and I guess every episode I go in hoping that he’ll rise above his lousy upbringing and

ID: Be you?

S: Be him. I mean, we get it in fits and spurts- the character’s got a strong base morality above and beyond what seems to be the norm for the show, but oftentimes he ignores his better instincts because he’d rather have sex with whoever’s guesting that episode.

ID: Okay. But what else are you anticipating, what else are you missing out on?

S: I’m glad I got to see House get out of the asylum. I’m not a huge fan of his character, and the show can be formulaic, but the mysteries… I guess I’m glad, too, I got to see the beginnings of post-asylum, moderately more human and gentle House. I’ve always gotten the sense that House is what would have happened to Bruce if there never was a Batman- that he would have followed in his father’s footsteps and become a doctor, and that he’d still be brilliant, but just as he does now, he’d use that brilliance to push people away. And I’m glad I got to see the “end” of Scrubs- at least to the point where JD stops being the main character, and really, that’s the end as far as anybody’s really concerned.

But it isn’t just movie and TV- although those kinds of things are always a little easier to predict. But Lana’s pregnant, which I don’t think is a secret- at least I hope not- and I found myself the other day counting up the time she has left, and thinking, “I’m not going to get to see her baby.” And it’s stupid, but when she first got pregnant, I know she talked about making me the baby’s godfather, and…

And in the League, there are a lot of engagements and wedding dates floating around. And I’m man enough to admit- maybe because for me mine was such a long time coming- but I like weddings. Seeing two people who really care about one another making that social commitment.

ID: Which brings up something, and I forget, hell, we may have talked about it at some point, but not having my notes on all previous forty-some odd conversations we’ve had, we’ll just roll with it, but I hear that there are a few gay superhero weddings in the mix- I think Question/Batwoman for one has been rumored. What are your thoughts?

S: That’s the easiest divisive question you’ve ever asked. If two people really care about one another enough to want to make that social commitment, then absolutely I want them to have that freedom. More than that, I want to stand with them when they make that declaration. It’s a beautiful thing to be a part of. And I can’t even begin to fathom how anyone could want to stand in its way.

We’ll be trying to bring you a new section of the interview every Tuesday. Some of the questions have already been prepared by the interviewer, but to ask Superman a question, leave a comment or send an email to DeathofSuperman@gmail.com.

Presidential Power

Irascible Democrat: There’s something I’ve been dying to ask you, since your view of the current President has softened, while down-home vitriol at him seems to be ever-increasing. Plus, there was his Superman joke during the campaign. So what's your take on his presidency so far?

Superman: I’m a reporter, first and foremost, so I have to take umbrage a bit with your phrasing. There are people who are angry with the President, and some of them even have a point, but if you’re specifically bringing up the Tea Parties, or the people shouting at politicians who try to speak about health care or climate change- they’re in an obstructionist minority.

But again, some of them do have a point. A wide majority of people favor health care reform. When you ask them about any specific plan on any specific timeline, support drops to a little below half. I think the problem, particularly with health care, is that the public like their health circumstances today, and they're scared of things changing. But the reality is their circumstances are constantly changing, evolving. If current trends continue, without reform costs will continue to rise, and that will mean that some people will have to change to cheaper insurance, others will lose coverage entirely. So people want to freeze their insurance as it stands today- but that isn't really possible. The public is just scared, right now, which I think is largely the fault of that obstructionist minority I mentioned, but the administration hasn't effectively countered it, either.

ID: But overall, how do you rate the President?

S: I’m not going to give him a grade, or a thumbs up or down. But I’ll say one thing for the man and the administration he's built, that I think encompasses most of my feelings on the subject: he’s trying. Whatever your political feelings on what he’s attempting to do, whatever your favorite hobby horse, he’s attempting to do something about it. That was always the most damning charge against Bush, and Luthor after him, that they were terribly passive. They wanted to let the market sort things out, let someone else figure out a way to profit when things went wrong, rather than getting in with the resources at their disposal to help. And Obama, and the congressional leadership, they’re trying. They’re fighting the good fight.

Sometimes, with all the pies they have their hands in, things get necessarily back-burnered, but I think it’s unreasonable to think even a great president would be able to address every standing question in the nation at the same time.

Take Darfur. The League came out in a joint statement with President Bush's administration, declaring our belief that what was taking place in Darfur amounted to genocide. We also filed an amicus brief of our research efforts for the ICC. Now under international law, Bush was supposed to act to stop the genocide in Darfur once it was determined to be occurring. But Bush, and Luthor after him, seemed content with that, assuming someone else would deal with it effectively.

ID: Given your own non-interventionist approach, isn't that a bit of the pot calling the kettle black?

S: The difference is slight, I'll grant you, but huge. First, the League is a collection of people from different nationalities, and are not signatories nor parties to the Convention on the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide. The CPPCG actually states in part that signatory nations have a responsibility to act against a genocide. Where the League lacks the mandate and the infrastructure, the U.S. does not. The U.S. under either Bush or Luthor could have assembled another coalition. Hell, the US could have devoted no resources whatsoever, and just called in Captain Atom, one of the few Captains in our circles who actually holds the rank legitimately- in the Air Force, specifically.

ID: Okay, so what's the difference then in current policy?

S: Admittedly, part of the change is that now there's a UN force in place, there's a warrant for genocide-related crimes out for [Sudanese President Omar al] Bashir from the ICC. But despite the fact that Darfur is at least in the process of making progress, he's still talking about it. And he's dispatched specific envoys tasked with aiding the situation. I think he could do more. I think, in private at least, he should mention Captain Atom, and the fact that one single air raid through the country could destroy upwards of 80% of the military infrastructure, and probably deliver Bashir into the waiting hands of the ICC. I think maybe Obama doesn't want to push that too hard, where he's using fear and threats as a proxy for diplomacy, and I think Darfur is one of those things that has been back-burnered in favor of pressing domestic concerns- but I think it's on his to-do list, whereas with Luthor and Bush I don't think it even registered as something they should think about acting on.

ID: Okay, what about GM?

S: I think, given the lousy set of circumstances, he’s done well enough. After all, it was the previous administration that first loaned GM billions of dollars. So when it came to choosing between letting that “investment” die- and letting all those jobs disappear- or sinking more capital into the company, I don’t think there was a good choice- so I think they tried to be practical.

ID: What about people upset about the lack of movement on “Don't ask, don't tell.”

S: I think it's still on the President's radar- it's just a difficult policy to replace with other things on the table. I think, also, he's a bit gunshy because of what happened to Clinton that originally led to the compromise that is “Don't ask.” I think it's again Obama choosing some priorities over others.

ID: Are you an apologist for the President?

S: I'm not an apologist for anyone, except occasionally myself- and even then, only when I feel I've genuinely erred. Besides which, these are your questions, which means either you were wanting me to fall the way I did, the other way, or, I suppose if you're that rare kind of genuinely curious reporter, then you were just interested in which way I eventually would fall.

ID: Okay, but if the next election were tomorrow, would you vote to reelect him?

S: I don't know- that depends on my options. If all the Republicans are offering is Palin, Romney, Huckabee, then I'd take anyone else with a pulse and a synapse or two- which would definitely include the President. If Al Gore decides to challenge as the father of a new independent party, running on a platform of genuine environmental revolution- things like mandating recyclable containers for all food products- then I don't know. I always really liked the title “man of tomorrow,” so if there were an election then, I hope I'd be looking towards the future, and who was going to get us to the best one possible.

We’ll be trying to bring you a new section of the interview every Tuesday. Some of the questions have already been prepared by the interviewer, but to ask Superman a question, leave a comment or send an email to DeathofSuperman@gmail.com.