Superman in a Dress

In Drogyny: I’ve actually wanted to talk to you about this phenomenon, it’s something a colleague of mine and I were talking about. There seems to be a real trend towards male heroes being replaced by women.

Superman: Yeah, one of our strange little, secrets not exactly the right word, but something people don’t usually talk about it.

Plastic Man brought it up some time ago in the Watchtower, actually. Of course, he squeezed himself out from between two Leaguers (it might have been Hawkgirl and Canary) and said, “In the future, there will be boobs.” Lordy, I know that look- I’ve just given you the title for this piece… [Note: He was nearly right.] Anyway, he launched into a very Seinfeldian rant about how heroines were constantly popping up in the stead of male heroes. Jade. Batwoman. The female Question, Fate, Dr. Mid-Nite, Stargirl, Wildcat, Robin, Doctor Light, Hawk and Dove- though in that instance I guess it was Dove and then Hawk, Miss Martian, Speedy, Natasha Irons. He theorized that soon enough, all of us, regardless of desire, would be captured by a new villain, probably calling himself the “Inbreastigator,” who would use a combination of the Dark Arts, plastic surgery and Martian technology to give us all breast implants.

Being him, he turned the entire thing into a commentary on heroine’s self-esteem. I’ll paraphrase: Ladies, you’re good enough to hero under your own symbol, without standing in the shadow of male heroes. But if your low self-esteem won’t allow for that, Plastic Man’s got a use for your stiletto and fishnet fetishes.

And it was Hawkgirl, because, well, the rant hit a nerve, and she tried to mace him.

ID: You mean

S: Yeah, she tried to hit him with her mace. And it was Dinah, because she screamed, and it messed with Plas long enough for Hawkgirl to get in a good, solid bash to the face. They walloped him pretty good, but of course he’s Plastic Man, so after he stopped being stunned he squeezed out from under them and said, “Ladies, please, I prefer to be on top.”

ID: So you’re saying Plastic Man is borderline the office sexual predator?

S: It’s not to that level, and I don’t think it will ever get to that point. Plastic Man is just a big kid, and he flirts at the fourth grade level. I think if he ever took it too far, Diana would wrap him in her lasso and make him tell stories about his insecurities- and fear of that, if nothing else, keeps his libido to a manageable pace. And I hate to sound stereotypical about this, but I think the women in the League, generally, enjoy it. Because it’s playful, and harmless. And I think, to an extent, that with the fate of the world sometimes hanging off our shoulders, sometimes that innocent playfulness really lets us heave a sigh of relief. I could be completely wrong, but I sincerely hope that I’m not. Honestly. If any Leaguers, past or present, have ever felt uncomfortable, please, tell me, um, actually, tell Bruce. He does a better bad cop.

ID: Okay. Well, the less funny aspect of this subject is that most of those women have subsequently been killed, injured or replaced in their respective roles, by men.

S: Yes- but I would like to inject that they often were initially taking over for deceased men, as well.

ID: Okay, but do you think that’s due to any kind of bias, or… ?

S: I’m not sure what you mean. I suppose you could say, God, or whatever kind of cosmic editor you might believe in seems to have some issues with gender equality that he’s unfortunately working out within the female heroing community; this certainly goes beyond even the women in costume to cover the women who surround us. There’s been a lot of innocent people hurt over the years, perhaps a disproportionate percent of them women.

ID: So do you think there’s something to that?

S: I’m not sure I know what you’re asking. If you mean that this is the superhero equivalent of telling a doctor your wife “fell” down the stairs- no. Unequivocally, no. We’ve all had our dark moments in the community, and I know spousal abuse can and has taken place, but there’s no institutionalized understanding about violence towards women. It’s a crime, and just like any other crime, it’s one myself and the League seek full justice for under the law.

ID: Okay. I’m, I think I might be putting this wrong, I don’t want to sound accusatory, but it seems like there’s a disconnect here. More bad things happen to women, and that doesn’t seem

S: The tragedy is, more bad things do happen to women. But it’s not just in our circles, it’s all over. 80% of sexual assault victims are women. 60% of domestic violence victims are women.

If you’re saying there might be subtle biases that might make us, say, save a male over a female, then I think you’re off target. I can’t speak for everyone in our community, but by and large, we have a fairly conservative group of people, traditional, I mean, in the way we were taught to deal with the world. And in that mindset, you protect those who need it. If that means stepping between Diana and a nuclear weapon, or between Bruce and buckshot- you protect the people who need it. I’m reluctant to say what I think you might be angling for, because especially in the League it’s not strictly true, but classically women are the weaker sex- from a purely physical standpoint. That breaks down in the Watchtower, because Bruce is purely human, whereas Hawkgirl and Diana aren’t. Dinah could probably stomp all of the Robins; Batgirl certainly could. And Ollie might be stronger than Speedy, but if there’s a stick of dynamite in the room I need to save them both- but not necessarily Jesse Quick. What I’m trying to say is I sincerely do not believe that high female casualty rates can be blamed on us not wanting to save them, or even on subtle biases; if anything, our biases would push us in the opposite direction.

But if you’re asking if people like Luthor, like the Joker, have historically sought out women, going after perceived weak links, where we might be most vulnerable, where the pain might be the most severe- I think that may have happened in the past. It’s part of why we did what we did.

ID: The honeypot, right.

S: Yes. We wanted to make a better world. But like I said, a lot of us, myself included, we’re old-fashioned. Maybe I’m just being selfish, and I wanted to see that my wife was as safe as I could, or maybe it’s that my mom raised me to stand up for them, but we wanted to make a safer world for women. Because they just might be the ones who inherit the Earth.

We’ll be trying to bring you a new section of the interview every Tuesday. Some of the questions have already been prepared by the interviewer, but to ask Superman a question, leave a comment or send an email to DeathofSuperman@gmail.com.