Cancer Benefits

Indecent Dancing: Patrick Swayze’s dead.

Superman: I heard that. Um, my condolences to his family, friends, anyone hurt by his death.

ID: Of course. But does that scare you? Patrick Swayze, dead at 57. Of cancer- pancreatic, specifically.

S: I don’t know if I’m as, um, impressed by celebrity as you are. I guess as someone who has at least occasionally been lumped into the idea of celebrity, it doesn’t hold the same kind of mystique for me. There are thousands of cancer deaths a day; an American dies from cancer every minute. Ironically, I’ll be at my most ordinary- my most human- in dying, just another statistic.

ID: Hmm. So you don’t get an odd sense that you’re in a pond, and there’s ripples, and suddenly the ripples- his death- show you how very small and shallow that pond has always been?

S: I may not be articulating it well; I don’t mean to say his death doesn’t effect me, because it does. But every cancer death effects me, now hits close to home. I feel, and I think I’m quoting or paraphrasing here, “the icy breath of death at the nape of my neck” each time. But I remember watching him on Stand Up To Cancer last year, and one thing he said really did touch me, he said, “I’m just an individual living with cancer.” And I think that’s good- I think all of us that are dealing with this disease, we’re all just people. But I think his appearance at Stand Up To Cancer said something else, too, that we’re all of us just people, but that together, as a united humanity, maybe we’re more.

ID: Brings up a pointed, and probably loaded, question, though, doesn’t it. What have you done about cancer?

S: I suppose the honest answer to that is not enough. I think I spent a lot of time in denial, hoping that I could wait it out, that it wouldn’t be true forever, so if I could just hold out. But really anything I say would be an excuse. I’ve been selfish. I’ve spent time getting my affairs in order, talking to the people who are closer to me- trying to keep my day to day the same, so it doesn’t hurt the people around me.

ID: I don’t know if I’d exactly call it selfish. Those are all important things, too. And I don’t doubt that Patrick Swayze did all of those things; I mean, he still went to the trouble of completing his commitment on The Beast, for God’s sake. I don’t want it to get lost here, that I’m not condemning that side of your struggle with cancer, but I’m asking, as someone who has personally lost people to the disease, how have you, or maybe a better phrasing would be, how might you, use your elevated profile?

S: I’m not really one for speeches. And I’ve gone most of my life trying not to be recognized for who and what I am- for my circumstances, whether tragic or beneficial- but for what I do. But in this, I think you’re right, I’ve been lacking. For starters, if they want me for Stand Up ’09, I’ll be there, even if Lois has to wheel me in in a chair.

ID: You’re being hyperbolic about that, though, right? You’re not to the point where

S: No- not yet, at least. But I’ve been feeling weaker, lately. And sometimes it really can hurt to walk. It’s actually a funny thing; outwardly, I’m still strong enough to fall off The Planet building without it hurting too much, but inwardly, so many things that didn’t used to- that really shouldn’t- hurt do now.

ID: You’re not playing the pity card on me, are you?

S: Of course not. Over these interviews I’ve learned a lot about you- and pity, sympathy and whoever-forbid empathy… not exactly strengths of yours.

ID: You wound me, or you would, if it weren’t for your facetious tone, but you have a point. I play devil’s advocate a lot. I’ll be as liberal or conservative as it takes to get an interesting answer. But my heart bleeds nearly as much as Oliver Queen’s- though I don’t think I’ll ever have it in me to be as much of an ass about it as him.

S: Strong words, knowing he could split a hair at a hundred yards with his bow.

ID: Come on. It’s impossible for him not to know he’s an ass… right?

S: Actually I think Ollie’s blissfully unaware- but you’re not giving yourself due credit- I think you have it in you to be twice the ass he can be.

ID: Thanks.

S: Don’t mention it. But I think that can be an important skill for a reporter. Sometimes being nice means not telling people the truth, and a reporter’s job, inherently, is to tell people things they don’t want to hear. I think it’s good to hear from someone that you’ve been a jerk about something- it’s really the only way you know that you need to correct something- presuming if you’d known you were wrong in the first place you’d have never committed the error to begin with.

So I guess I’m saying thanks.

ID: For being an asshole. It’s a tough job, but somebody’s gotta do it. On that note, in the future, given our conversation or any other factors, do you see your focus changing from tights-wearer extraordinaire to a spokesperson?

S: I don’t know. It’s certainly not something I’d have ever really thought about on my own. But now that you’ve planted that seed in my head… I think I’ll have to do something. I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself, for however long I may have left, if I didn’t.

We’ll be trying to bring you a new section of the interview every Tuesday. Some of the questions have already been prepared by the interviewer, but to ask Superman a question, leave a comment or send an email to DeathofSuperman@gmail.com.