Indigent Diatribe: Given the tenor of last week’s topic, I want to return. With what you said about hunting, are you a vegetarian, and if not, how, given your own sentiments, can you justify it?
Superman: I’m not strictly a vegetarian. I think you’re right, that there is an inherent hypocrisy to it- and it’s no excuse that “everybody” does it. But like most people, there’s a purposeful disconnect, between the living animals and the meat I eat.
ID: You’ve said you’re not even certain you need to eat, so why, when you have obvious ethical concerns, do you continue to eat meat?
S: Because it tastes good; sorry if that sounds glib, but I don’t really have a good reason. Sometimes I crave an angus steak, or a big juicy burger, a pepperoni pizza, or, and just the thought of it makes my mouth water, but some of my mom’s bacon.
ID: But they have vegetarian substitutes for all of those things.
S: Very true, but you know all those subtle imperfections, the little things that keep carnivores from switching to meat-substitutes- well, they’re a thousand times more noticeable with super senses.
ID: So you prefer to go against your own ethical constraints because meat tastes a little better?
S: Let me ask you something: are you a vegetarian?
ID: Nope. Girlfriend is- but I try to tempt her every chance I get (though it usually just makes her nauseous). But if your next question is how can I stand in judgment- I don’t. Personally, I’d be happy to go get a burger from the Ace O Clubs after we finish taping tonight. But I’m not asking the question for me- I’m acting as the proxy for all the vegan hippies out there- just like last week I was standing in for all the NRA faithful who are missing tonight’s installment because they’re home gunsterbating. .
S: Fair enough. But there is an important aspect that tends not to get talked about- one that I think is, while perhaps less important, will probably be the deciding factor in the debate- and that’s the incredible cost of meat. And that’s not just in the price at the supermarket, which consumers already see, but the cost in terms of resources. It takes at least three times as much water to produce a pound of beef as a pound of grains; and it takes at least three pounds of grains to produce a single pound of beef. As the population climbs, and resources become even more limited, I think it’s purely unsustainable to continue eating meat the way we have.
So I try. For reasons related to sustainability and the cost and impact on the environment and economy, for reasons related to the well-being of the animals, I try to abstain as often as possible. Lois has even found a decent vegetarian Chinese restaurant, where they can season their tofu to taste like just about anything- well, close to, anyway.
ID: I assume that if you want to eat the cow, you don’t mind people using the hide for leather, but what about non-food animals, like minks? Do you agree with people who say that fur is murder?
S: I don’t, actually. Fur isn’t murder. Nor is consuming meat. I think both of those go to human health and comfort, which I think is important to place above animal rights (if only just). But hunting is different- and I’m not saying hunting for food, but “sport” hunting. It’s based on the premise that a few moments of human amusement are worth the killing of an animal in an uncontrolled and less-humane way.
ID: Since the interview is running about half as long as I want, let’s beat this horse a little deader: do you and your wife use cruelty-free products?
S: I honestly have no idea- though I usually go pretty light on the products, actually- and Lois, Lois hardly needs any make-up at all- except for lipstick, because nobody’s lips are naturally that color.
ID: So you’re saying your hair does that s-curl thing naturally? I suppose it’s plausible, since judging from Smallville you’ve had excellent hair going back to at least high school.
S: Yeah, I wish I looked like Tom Welling when I was that age- especially that hair. When I was a kid I had- well, it was before we figured out how to tame my hair.
ID: Okay, I’ll bite, how do you tame your hair?
S: Well, I started using heat, because it was easier to find a source of intense heat and some metal wiring- but the best I could ever do was give myself a really horrific perm- which really wouldn’t even completely take, because flying as fast as I do it would get tousled.
And it was actually Bruce, one of the first couple of times we worked together, who figured out how to do something about it. I was complaining about not being able to keep my hair off my face, and a few days later a package arrived at my doorstep. It was an experimental industrial adhesive, quick-drying, and a solvent. There was a note, “for your hair.” And at first I thought, “God, Lex, this is the lamest thing you’ve ever done.” Not only was it a lame set-up, but the goal, ostensibly attempting to make me bald like him, was also lame- but then, and I know this will sound weird but remember that I have heightened senses, but I smelled Bruce in the package, and I realized that it was okay.
ID: Ew. So you’re saying you have an industrial adhesive in your hair right now?
S: Actually, right this second it’s a fruit-based hair gel. But I keep a tube of adhesive with my “suit.” If I’m just walking around town, I don’t need the “designed to keep a fighter plane wing on” hold, but if I’m well, flying several times the speed of a fighter plane, then I do.
ID: Okay, that covers half my ew, but you’re saying that you can smell people.
S: Of course. There’s a layer of hygiene smells, your shampoo, laundry soap, deodorant, toothpaste, then there’s whatever sweat and secretions you’ve produced since your last bathing, and beyond that, everybody has a base smell. In part, it’s because nobody really gets completely clean in a shower, and in part it’s because everything has a smell. So yeah, there was a distinctive collection of odors that was Bruce- it’s not quite snowflake unique, but pretty much everybody I know has a recognizable scent. Of course, there was one time Bruce was testing out a chemical smell camouflage device, and he snuck up behind me smelling exactly like Lois- that was bizarre.
ID: And, given your, well, super crush on Lois, is it safe to assume you found Batman’s presence, uh, arousing?
S: No comment.
ID: Stop looking at me like that. I know, I know, new journalistic low. But that’s the kind of unasked question that would keep me up at night.
S: You do realize the kinds of slash fiction that’s going to inspire, right? Lois likes to read it, just so she can point out the cruder, more compromising passages.
ID: Well, you heard it here, first, folks, Lois Lane reads slash fiction.
S: You really almost make me wish you were the one with cancer.
We’ll be trying to bring you a new section of the interview every Tuesday. Some of the questions have already been prepared by the interviewer, but to ask Superman a question, leave a comment or send an email to DeathofSuperman@gmail.com.
Showing posts with label Bruce. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bruce. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Speeding Bullet
Incomprehensible Dianetics: I want to ask you a divisive question, one which, as a man who's impervious to injury personally but deals in a very hands-on way with the criminal element might be perfectly positioned to respond to. What's your stance on gun control?
Superman: I’m not against it. Now let me admit, before we even look at the merits, that I'm biased. Weapons and war had a part in destroying my home.
ID: Uh, could you explain that in a bit more detail, for those of us who don’t buy and feverishly reread the trading cards.
S: Sure. During what was, essentially, a civil rights movement on Krypton, a terrorist breakaway group used what was basically a nuclear gun on the planet. The weapon slowly destabilized the planet, to the point where it basically exploded.
ID: It doesn’t sound like your arguing gun control, but weapons control, which I don’t think anyone would
S: Sure they would- and that’s the thing. You have to draw a line somewhere, don’t you? If I have a right to bear arms to resist the government, but the government has a fighter jet, well then to properly resist, I need a Stinger missile. Or, in all honesty, I could probably use a fighter jet of my own.
ID: So you see a problem with civilian-owned fighter jets?
S: As a concept, maybe not, assuming they became like automobiles, where everyone had one in the garage- and from there you can always make the argument that “an armed society is a polite society.” But in reality, fighter jets are expensive. The only people who would be able to afford them would be the superrich. And while it might not be a horrible thing if Bill Gates or Bruce Wayne owned and operated fighter jets, what about the Lex Luthors of the world? And speaking of Lex, I know for a fact he’s had access to fissile material through LexCorp.’s energy division. Obviously we don’t want him to be able to legally make and keep nuclear weapons.
But really, to take a plane out of the sky, you don’t really need anything too advanced. Barrett is making a 25 mm rifle, right now. 25 mm is a grenade round, usually, but they’re using it for a next-gen anti-materiel weapon. A 25 mm round would punch a hole in an airplane bigger than my fist. Against a fighter jet, well, it’s hard to hit something moving that fast, but against a commercial airliner…
ID: I think we can agree that some level of arms control is necessary.
S: And I suppose there’s a second component to my bias. There’s the destruction of my home world, but on Earth I’ve seen a lot of loss that can be attributed to weapons, too. To pick a specific example, an unlicensed firearm killed the parents of one of my greatest friends- and even though that gave the world the Batman, and even though without that event, he and I likely would never have met, I love him enough that I would gladly lose him to spare him their loss.
ID: You love Batman?
S: The one thing dying really brings you is clarity. I could be stoic, puff my chest out like my dad, and die without admitting who I am to the people I care about- but I don't want to be like that. I'd rather be able to stand, with grace and with dignity, and say how I feel. Bruce is my friend, and I truly, dearly love him.
ID: Okay, but do you believe that more stringent gun laws would have prevented the Wayne’s mugging (and subsequent murder)?
S: On that specific occasion? I have no idea. But generally speaking, tighter gun control laws could make it more difficult for criminals to get guns, and more dangerous for them to use guns against innocent people.
ID: I don’t know if it’s a fair argument you make, because you are, for all intents and purposes, a superweapon- guns do nothing but bring the average person a little closer to your level of potential resistance from the government (or a threat).
S: First, a gun doesn’t give you anything close to enhanced ability- it’s a tool with a very specific purpose. And second, you’re wrong about me- at least me personally. Yes, I do have a lot of power at my disposal, but I’ve always considered it necessary to remain a normal member of human society. So it wouldn’t be right of me to use my abilities to, say, destabilize the American government. I have just as much revolutionary power as any citizen- voting. And if that fails, I have the same right as every other American- the right to leave. To your third, somewhat veiled point, I am a little safer from muggers or people who would try to do me harm, but I think you’re exaggerating my position to make it more contentious. I’m not against guns generally- I’m just for the idea that we control them tightly, that we do everything a responsible but free society can to keep our fellow citizens safe.
ID: Hmm. I’m going to take a flying leap here, but have you ever fired a gun?
Yes. But a lot of my opinions were shaped by the first time I carried one. My father took me hunting when I was little- still too young even to use the .22 he bought me to learn on. But he taught me how to make sure it wasn’t loaded, how to treat it, and respect it- and he made me carry it. And what we found out that day was, with my senses, I made for an excellent tracker. Following just the faintest of smells and tiniest of clues, we stalked a deer for the better part of a day.
When we got close enough, I could hear its heart, and as we closed the distance its metronome thump-thump got louder and louder. The deer was stopped by a small creek, drinking, but even though we had to be too far away for it to hear us, it knew something was wrong. Its head came up, ears alert, eyes scanning. Its heartbeat increased, pounding in my ears as my father raised his rifle. Something primal in me reacted; the deer’s heartbeat in my ears became my own, its fear became my own. I was young, not so fast or strong, and I wasn’t even fast enough to say, “Dad,” before he took the shot.
I ran, reaching through the blurred landscape for the bullet as it spun in slow motion through the air. I was fast enough to grab it, but the impact burst the skin in my palm. But the deer was terrified, first of the gunshot, then of the small boy suddenly rushing at it, and it stumbled as its heartbeat became increasingly erratic, and I watched in horror as it’s heart went from too fast to too slow, then stopped entirely. I didn’t know CPR, but I was going to try and resuscitate it when my dad finally caught up, put a hand on my shoulder and said, “Son.” And I fell to my knees, crying, and then he noticed the blood and said, “Your hand.”
Of course, I didn’t even really notice the pain, and it wasn’t why I was upset. I said, “Dad, we killed it.” And my dad took me in his arms and he said, “No, son, we didn’t. I did. You tried to save it.” But even at that age I knew he never would have gotten anywhere near the deer if it hadn’t been for me.
I didn’t ask him to stop, but my dad never hunted again. He’d still go shooting- he took me to the range a couple of times- but I think he understood, seeing my reaction, the truth that hunters have to sort of bypass on an ethical level- that they’re killing something, and not just that it’s dying, but that it’s dying alone and afraid- that there’s nothing fun or sporting about that.
We’ll be trying to bring you a new section of the interview every Monday. Some of the questions have already been prepared by the interviewer, but to ask Superman a question, leave a comment or send an email to DeathofSuperman@gmail.com.
Superman: I’m not against it. Now let me admit, before we even look at the merits, that I'm biased. Weapons and war had a part in destroying my home.
ID: Uh, could you explain that in a bit more detail, for those of us who don’t buy and feverishly reread the trading cards.
S: Sure. During what was, essentially, a civil rights movement on Krypton, a terrorist breakaway group used what was basically a nuclear gun on the planet. The weapon slowly destabilized the planet, to the point where it basically exploded.
ID: It doesn’t sound like your arguing gun control, but weapons control, which I don’t think anyone would
S: Sure they would- and that’s the thing. You have to draw a line somewhere, don’t you? If I have a right to bear arms to resist the government, but the government has a fighter jet, well then to properly resist, I need a Stinger missile. Or, in all honesty, I could probably use a fighter jet of my own.
ID: So you see a problem with civilian-owned fighter jets?
S: As a concept, maybe not, assuming they became like automobiles, where everyone had one in the garage- and from there you can always make the argument that “an armed society is a polite society.” But in reality, fighter jets are expensive. The only people who would be able to afford them would be the superrich. And while it might not be a horrible thing if Bill Gates or Bruce Wayne owned and operated fighter jets, what about the Lex Luthors of the world? And speaking of Lex, I know for a fact he’s had access to fissile material through LexCorp.’s energy division. Obviously we don’t want him to be able to legally make and keep nuclear weapons.
But really, to take a plane out of the sky, you don’t really need anything too advanced. Barrett is making a 25 mm rifle, right now. 25 mm is a grenade round, usually, but they’re using it for a next-gen anti-materiel weapon. A 25 mm round would punch a hole in an airplane bigger than my fist. Against a fighter jet, well, it’s hard to hit something moving that fast, but against a commercial airliner…
ID: I think we can agree that some level of arms control is necessary.
S: And I suppose there’s a second component to my bias. There’s the destruction of my home world, but on Earth I’ve seen a lot of loss that can be attributed to weapons, too. To pick a specific example, an unlicensed firearm killed the parents of one of my greatest friends- and even though that gave the world the Batman, and even though without that event, he and I likely would never have met, I love him enough that I would gladly lose him to spare him their loss.
ID: You love Batman?
S: The one thing dying really brings you is clarity. I could be stoic, puff my chest out like my dad, and die without admitting who I am to the people I care about- but I don't want to be like that. I'd rather be able to stand, with grace and with dignity, and say how I feel. Bruce is my friend, and I truly, dearly love him.
ID: Okay, but do you believe that more stringent gun laws would have prevented the Wayne’s mugging (and subsequent murder)?
S: On that specific occasion? I have no idea. But generally speaking, tighter gun control laws could make it more difficult for criminals to get guns, and more dangerous for them to use guns against innocent people.
ID: I don’t know if it’s a fair argument you make, because you are, for all intents and purposes, a superweapon- guns do nothing but bring the average person a little closer to your level of potential resistance from the government (or a threat).
S: First, a gun doesn’t give you anything close to enhanced ability- it’s a tool with a very specific purpose. And second, you’re wrong about me- at least me personally. Yes, I do have a lot of power at my disposal, but I’ve always considered it necessary to remain a normal member of human society. So it wouldn’t be right of me to use my abilities to, say, destabilize the American government. I have just as much revolutionary power as any citizen- voting. And if that fails, I have the same right as every other American- the right to leave. To your third, somewhat veiled point, I am a little safer from muggers or people who would try to do me harm, but I think you’re exaggerating my position to make it more contentious. I’m not against guns generally- I’m just for the idea that we control them tightly, that we do everything a responsible but free society can to keep our fellow citizens safe.
ID: Hmm. I’m going to take a flying leap here, but have you ever fired a gun?
Yes. But a lot of my opinions were shaped by the first time I carried one. My father took me hunting when I was little- still too young even to use the .22 he bought me to learn on. But he taught me how to make sure it wasn’t loaded, how to treat it, and respect it- and he made me carry it. And what we found out that day was, with my senses, I made for an excellent tracker. Following just the faintest of smells and tiniest of clues, we stalked a deer for the better part of a day.
When we got close enough, I could hear its heart, and as we closed the distance its metronome thump-thump got louder and louder. The deer was stopped by a small creek, drinking, but even though we had to be too far away for it to hear us, it knew something was wrong. Its head came up, ears alert, eyes scanning. Its heartbeat increased, pounding in my ears as my father raised his rifle. Something primal in me reacted; the deer’s heartbeat in my ears became my own, its fear became my own. I was young, not so fast or strong, and I wasn’t even fast enough to say, “Dad,” before he took the shot.
I ran, reaching through the blurred landscape for the bullet as it spun in slow motion through the air. I was fast enough to grab it, but the impact burst the skin in my palm. But the deer was terrified, first of the gunshot, then of the small boy suddenly rushing at it, and it stumbled as its heartbeat became increasingly erratic, and I watched in horror as it’s heart went from too fast to too slow, then stopped entirely. I didn’t know CPR, but I was going to try and resuscitate it when my dad finally caught up, put a hand on my shoulder and said, “Son.” And I fell to my knees, crying, and then he noticed the blood and said, “Your hand.”
Of course, I didn’t even really notice the pain, and it wasn’t why I was upset. I said, “Dad, we killed it.” And my dad took me in his arms and he said, “No, son, we didn’t. I did. You tried to save it.” But even at that age I knew he never would have gotten anywhere near the deer if it hadn’t been for me.
I didn’t ask him to stop, but my dad never hunted again. He’d still go shooting- he took me to the range a couple of times- but I think he understood, seeing my reaction, the truth that hunters have to sort of bypass on an ethical level- that they’re killing something, and not just that it’s dying, but that it’s dying alone and afraid- that there’s nothing fun or sporting about that.
We’ll be trying to bring you a new section of the interview every Monday. Some of the questions have already been prepared by the interviewer, but to ask Superman a question, leave a comment or send an email to DeathofSuperman@gmail.com.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
World's Finest
Indiana Drones: I want to talk to you about Bruce.
Superman: You mean Batman?
ID: I suppose you probably know other Bruce's, don't you, yes, Bruce Wayne, the Batman. You seem to have a lot of respect for him, and at the same time, you often compare him to Lex Luthor, who a lot of people have compared to Saddam Hussein.
S: That's true, but I think that comparison is usually because Bruce is entirely different from Lex. He's an example of how it could be with Lex-
ID: But the sort of reverse of that is that Lex is how Bruce could have turned out if things had been different.
S: I don't think so; Bruce would tell you that his life was shaped by tragedy, that he's much more a product of his childhood than a creature of willpower, but I think that's just one of the many masks Bruce likes to wear. He doesn't... like acknowledging who he really is. That's why Bruce Wayne is a foppish caricature- because Bruce is afraid of being discovered.
ID: So you're saying it had nothing to do with hiding his identity?
S: I don't think it was a very effective way of hiding his identity, no. I mean, the easiest way to hide his identity would be to use commercially available weapons in his arsenal. He once let slip that his annual batarang budget usually averaged $200,000 dollars. Of course, that's not counting the Chinese smugglers he paid to bring him the supplies from the Russian arms dealers who smithed them. If he'd just used guns, or, in keeping with his creed, stun guns, he could have kept his costs within at least the realm of believability for a normal citizen. As a mask it was completely ineffectual- and Bruce is anything but ineffectual.
The one, defining characteristic of Bruce's is willpower. Most people, if they lost their parents like that, they'd drown themselves in pills or booze or whatever other things their vast riches could buy them. The rest would have buried themselves in friends and psychologists, and cried it out until they found a way to move past it.
Bruce was past it immediately. And like most people faced with horror, he grit his teeth and said “Never again.” But unlike most people, he's spent his entire life doing everything he can to live up to that. I'm sure he could quote chapter and verse the litany of times he's failed- and if you took him at his word, and counted, you might be as heartbroken as he is, but I'm not. I'm heartened by that. Because Bruce knows the name of everyone he's ever failed, and he knows how. He cares that damn much. There are times when I find myself sitting at home in bed, ready for rest, warm and comfortable in my bed, with Lois curled around me, and I'll hear a scream, and hesitate. But in that moment's hesitation (which for me takes a fraction of a second), I ask myself what Bruce would do, and getting out of bed's a little easier.
ID: So respect is
S: Putting it lightly, yeah. Bruce is my yardstick in a lot of things.
ID: Like?
S: Bruce is really the bravest man I know. It doesn’t take anything exceptional to be a good person when you’re raised in a safe, loving environment; it doesn’t take courage for a bulletproof man to stand between innocent people and a gun. But there is nothing I would do to protect innocent people Bruce would hesitate from doing- many of which I would survive while he would not. That’s why I say that.
ID: Okay, well given your mutual affection, why do you think
S: Affection is too strong. I think Bruce respects me. No, scratch that- I know he does. He doesn't want to admit it- and he certainly doesn't like that anyone close to him knows, but he does. Because Bruce likes to be in control. Because of his childhood, because of that massive and traumatic loss of control when his parents were murdered in front of him, he needs to be in control. And that's why Batman is who Batman is- because even though he's known most of us and worked with us for years, even though most of us are smart enough and responsible and capable enough to handle ourselves without his guiding hand, it's a fundamental part of Bruce's character.
And I think, especially, he feels that he has to be humanity's representative with the league. It's not something he aspired to; he's certainly tried to convince other “human” heroes to step forward and take that mantle, most notably Ollie, but at the end of the day he's always the one who brings us our human perspective, who keeps our day to day activities grounded in the same soil where most of the people who depend on us walk.
ID: Okay. But why didn't you and Bruce work together. Gotham is close enough he could probably fling a batarang into Metropolis from there.
S: There's a long and short answer to that. “I work alone.”
ID: That's a pretty good Batman.
S: Exceptional vocal muscle control.
ID: And the long answer?
S: Bruce wasn't ready for a partner yet- which, I suppose, could have been his meaning- though I doubt he'd admit anything so personal while in costume. But he wasn't ready for the tragedy of losing anyone else in his life- and not just to danger, he couldn't have handled getting close to someone and then having them move on to another relationship, another friendship, a job in another city or whatever. He was still extraordinarily fragile, because emotionally he'd never taken the time to process what happened to his parents. And because on some level Bruce understood that, he kept everyone at arm's length. Look at that time of his life- his only real friends and confidants were people he knew before his parents' murder- he didn't let new people in. He joined the League before he ever met Robin, but he was only ever there out of necessity; at the slightest breeze he was gone, mentally if not physically. But it was Robin, really, who helped him open up. I think it was seeing his own tragedy unfold in someone else's life, and realizing that he alone couldn't stop that history from repeating, I think that's what opened him up again to being a part of something larger than himself.
ID: I take it, then, that you asked him.
S: Yeah, of course I did. I was kind of a dumb kid from the sticks in Kansas- and Krypton- and he was- well, he was the Batman. I still felt self-conscious in my red and blue space police uniform, but he was cool- he was actually a little intimidating in that pointy-eared cowl.
ID: So were you at all disappointed to find out Batman was only human?
S: No- I was more impressed. Here was a guy who could do all kinds of amazing things that he had figured out for himself- or trained for a lifetime to do. There isn't a lot of video footage of the Batman in action, so there aren’t many opportunities to see it for yourself, but the closest thing I can think of is ballet. Watching him work, it's like a ballet- it's brutally, brutally violent- but at the same time, there's a visual beauty to it- it’s watching a master artisan practice an art honed over years of training. I’m just an alien who can shoot heat out his eyes; Bruce makes art with his hands and his mind. To quote Lois, I’m lucky she met me first- though I think she just says that to make me feel self-conscious.
We’ll be trying to bring you a new section of the interview every Monday. Some of the questions have already been prepared by the interviewer, but to ask Superman a question, leave a comment or send an email to DeathofSuperman@gmail.com.
Superman: You mean Batman?
ID: I suppose you probably know other Bruce's, don't you, yes, Bruce Wayne, the Batman. You seem to have a lot of respect for him, and at the same time, you often compare him to Lex Luthor, who a lot of people have compared to Saddam Hussein.
S: That's true, but I think that comparison is usually because Bruce is entirely different from Lex. He's an example of how it could be with Lex-
ID: But the sort of reverse of that is that Lex is how Bruce could have turned out if things had been different.
S: I don't think so; Bruce would tell you that his life was shaped by tragedy, that he's much more a product of his childhood than a creature of willpower, but I think that's just one of the many masks Bruce likes to wear. He doesn't... like acknowledging who he really is. That's why Bruce Wayne is a foppish caricature- because Bruce is afraid of being discovered.
ID: So you're saying it had nothing to do with hiding his identity?
S: I don't think it was a very effective way of hiding his identity, no. I mean, the easiest way to hide his identity would be to use commercially available weapons in his arsenal. He once let slip that his annual batarang budget usually averaged $200,000 dollars. Of course, that's not counting the Chinese smugglers he paid to bring him the supplies from the Russian arms dealers who smithed them. If he'd just used guns, or, in keeping with his creed, stun guns, he could have kept his costs within at least the realm of believability for a normal citizen. As a mask it was completely ineffectual- and Bruce is anything but ineffectual.
The one, defining characteristic of Bruce's is willpower. Most people, if they lost their parents like that, they'd drown themselves in pills or booze or whatever other things their vast riches could buy them. The rest would have buried themselves in friends and psychologists, and cried it out until they found a way to move past it.
Bruce was past it immediately. And like most people faced with horror, he grit his teeth and said “Never again.” But unlike most people, he's spent his entire life doing everything he can to live up to that. I'm sure he could quote chapter and verse the litany of times he's failed- and if you took him at his word, and counted, you might be as heartbroken as he is, but I'm not. I'm heartened by that. Because Bruce knows the name of everyone he's ever failed, and he knows how. He cares that damn much. There are times when I find myself sitting at home in bed, ready for rest, warm and comfortable in my bed, with Lois curled around me, and I'll hear a scream, and hesitate. But in that moment's hesitation (which for me takes a fraction of a second), I ask myself what Bruce would do, and getting out of bed's a little easier.
ID: So respect is
S: Putting it lightly, yeah. Bruce is my yardstick in a lot of things.
ID: Like?
S: Bruce is really the bravest man I know. It doesn’t take anything exceptional to be a good person when you’re raised in a safe, loving environment; it doesn’t take courage for a bulletproof man to stand between innocent people and a gun. But there is nothing I would do to protect innocent people Bruce would hesitate from doing- many of which I would survive while he would not. That’s why I say that.
ID: Okay, well given your mutual affection, why do you think
S: Affection is too strong. I think Bruce respects me. No, scratch that- I know he does. He doesn't want to admit it- and he certainly doesn't like that anyone close to him knows, but he does. Because Bruce likes to be in control. Because of his childhood, because of that massive and traumatic loss of control when his parents were murdered in front of him, he needs to be in control. And that's why Batman is who Batman is- because even though he's known most of us and worked with us for years, even though most of us are smart enough and responsible and capable enough to handle ourselves without his guiding hand, it's a fundamental part of Bruce's character.
And I think, especially, he feels that he has to be humanity's representative with the league. It's not something he aspired to; he's certainly tried to convince other “human” heroes to step forward and take that mantle, most notably Ollie, but at the end of the day he's always the one who brings us our human perspective, who keeps our day to day activities grounded in the same soil where most of the people who depend on us walk.
ID: Okay. But why didn't you and Bruce work together. Gotham is close enough he could probably fling a batarang into Metropolis from there.
S: There's a long and short answer to that. “I work alone.”
ID: That's a pretty good Batman.
S: Exceptional vocal muscle control.
ID: And the long answer?
S: Bruce wasn't ready for a partner yet- which, I suppose, could have been his meaning- though I doubt he'd admit anything so personal while in costume. But he wasn't ready for the tragedy of losing anyone else in his life- and not just to danger, he couldn't have handled getting close to someone and then having them move on to another relationship, another friendship, a job in another city or whatever. He was still extraordinarily fragile, because emotionally he'd never taken the time to process what happened to his parents. And because on some level Bruce understood that, he kept everyone at arm's length. Look at that time of his life- his only real friends and confidants were people he knew before his parents' murder- he didn't let new people in. He joined the League before he ever met Robin, but he was only ever there out of necessity; at the slightest breeze he was gone, mentally if not physically. But it was Robin, really, who helped him open up. I think it was seeing his own tragedy unfold in someone else's life, and realizing that he alone couldn't stop that history from repeating, I think that's what opened him up again to being a part of something larger than himself.
ID: I take it, then, that you asked him.
S: Yeah, of course I did. I was kind of a dumb kid from the sticks in Kansas- and Krypton- and he was- well, he was the Batman. I still felt self-conscious in my red and blue space police uniform, but he was cool- he was actually a little intimidating in that pointy-eared cowl.
ID: So were you at all disappointed to find out Batman was only human?
S: No- I was more impressed. Here was a guy who could do all kinds of amazing things that he had figured out for himself- or trained for a lifetime to do. There isn't a lot of video footage of the Batman in action, so there aren’t many opportunities to see it for yourself, but the closest thing I can think of is ballet. Watching him work, it's like a ballet- it's brutally, brutally violent- but at the same time, there's a visual beauty to it- it’s watching a master artisan practice an art honed over years of training. I’m just an alien who can shoot heat out his eyes; Bruce makes art with his hands and his mind. To quote Lois, I’m lucky she met me first- though I think she just says that to make me feel self-conscious.
We’ll be trying to bring you a new section of the interview every Monday. Some of the questions have already been prepared by the interviewer, but to ask Superman a question, leave a comment or send an email to DeathofSuperman@gmail.com.
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